The last 10 lbs...

Since early June I've been diligently counting my macros with the IIFYM calculator, and have had a lot of success with this method. In the last 3 months, I've been able to shed approximately 8 lbs, and have reached 142 lbs. My goal was 140 by the wedding. I think my ultimate goal is 135 lbs. I think that is where I would be happy with my body, while also maintaining a healthy amount of fat and muscle for my 5'4" frame. Although that is my ultimate goal, I know I won't reach that goal in just 45 days by the wedding date. That goal is for after the wedding. It's extremely unhealthy to set extreme expectations like that in such a short amount of time.

A lot of people ask me what my secret is for losing the weight. I find the answer to this question to be incredibly convoluted, and in all honesty it isn't just one thing. My success in losing over 45 lbs doesn't get credited to ONE diet or ONE exercise. I tried a cleanse, then I tried eating clean until I hit a plateau, then I tried going full paleo until I hit a plateau, and finally at my last plateau in the final stretch of my weight loss I tried counting Macros - which is by far the most difficult method, but one that if you follow the rules you will find the most success.

Plateaus are a part of the process. It's one of those ways your body shows you how incredible it is at adapting to new changes in lifestyle. In order to continue with progress, change is necessary.

So I guess you could say the secret to my weight loss was my ability to change my routine in order to further my progress. Try things that you think you can handle. Baby steps will get you further than giant leaps in this case.

Currently with only about 7 lbs to go, I find myself at an interesting emotional state of mind. I'm not obsessing over those 7 lbs. I have a goal, and I will reach it eventually, but right now I am just enjoying where I am, versus where I used to be. I am so incredibly thankful I was able to start eating healthier and exercising when I did. I am almost exactly where I want to be for my wedding, and I can genuinely say I love the way I look in my dress. I was able to pick a style of dress that I never would have dreamed of wearing just 2 years ago.

Sure I still have my insecurities. Those will always be there, but instead of those insecurities telling me I CAN'T wear something, I simply look and add that to my goals. "At my next dress fitting, I will make sure my arms are more toned. I will work on more back exercises.... "

Positive thoughts.

Positive thoughts are one of the biggest rewards I've been able to enjoy with this new life. I can see a challenge, accept it, and work on bettering myself - rather than beating myself up.

The main thing I'm taking away from being in "The last 10 lbs stage" is that not matter how long those lbs take, I'm happy with myself. I am proud of my progress and sticking to it. I'm happy with my wrinkly skin that hasn't quite sprung back from the excess weight. It's a reminder of where I came from.

Sometimes a little downtime is all you need

Sometimes a girl just needs a day off from working out. 

Sometimes she needs a little Tom Yum soup from her favorite Thai restaurant with some of her favorite coworkers.

Sometimes the sun doesn't come out on Friday, making the idea of swimming in a cold outdoor pool the LAST thing I want to do.

Sometimes I don't eat enough greens, or drink enough water.

Sometimes a little downtime is just what the doctor ordered.

Yes, I took today off from working out. Yes, some people think no days off is the only way.... well, 'round here I take a day off if my body is feeling fatigued and sluggish. I worked out 4 days this week, and tomorrow I will workout again... 

{selfie photo of me in my new nike throwback shirt.... gotta love new workout clothes!}

Evil BMI Charts

I work at a company that is kind enough to spoil us with a health and fitness program. Part of those benefits, apparently, is an annual {voluntary} biometric testing -  you know, cholesterol, glucose levels, triglyceride levels.... it's pretty bad ass.

So I decided, yes, of course I wanted to do this. I should know where I stand as far as my health is concerned. In all honesty, I felt pretty confident I was going to see decent results, and I was right.... for the most part....

Turns out, according to the nurse that drew my blood and scanned it in her handy dandy little machine, All of my "numbers" are excellent. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol levels are great, glucose levels are great, and so on.... BUT... my BMI was NOT great.

You see, because I am a short 5'5" woman.... my weight throws a wrench into my healthy system. I pack a mighty punch in this little body of mine. When most people guess my weight, they are a solid 30+ pounds off.... and I mean I am usually 30 lbs heavier than most guesses.

So, you can see where this is going. I weighed in.... after seeing the number, in my head I hear, "Awesome! I'm another pound lighter AND I have clothes on right now!"
What the nurse said after calculating my BMI, "Well, this is where you need some work. your BMI is 30, which makes you Obese. You know, you could improve that by changing your diet and doing some exercise...."

Obese.

That awful, awful word.

I laughed in her face, but in that HOW DARE YOU kind of way. I saved her the explanation because I doubt she wanted to hear about how I've lost almost 10 pounds already from DIET and EXERCISE, ahem, thank you very much mean nurse lady..... I knew she didn't care. It wasn't worth the hassle.

I left feeling a little bummed. It hurt to hear that after everything I've gone through this year so far, I'm still OBESE. It's terrible, how a simple word can make you feel so defeated. And then I went from feeling defeated to feeling angry.

How dare they categorize us all into about 5 different body types?!?!?!? We are a gigantic race with each and every one of us, a different make up. Different body types, genetics, disorders, hurdles.... this stupid piece of shit BMI chart is practically a playground bully.... rubbing your face in the metaphorical sand that is obesity.

I mean, seriously.... take a look at this.

Because of my height, I am apparently the second from the right.....

Clearly, this BMI chart business is for the birds. I am in the OVERWEIGHT section, not the OBESE section. I understand it helps some people get an idea of where they are and where they should be, but in my case, I feel like it was a complete miss... I know I have work left to do to myself, but COME ON.

Please dont focus too much on these charts. They are a vague generalization.

Body Image

In the past few days I've noticed a lot of people writing on their blogs about body image. Women, of course. Beautiful women who are uncomfortable in a body I am trying to obtain... isn't that silly?

Aren't we all just so silly?

I read these posts shaking my head.... How can these women think they're undesirable, overweight, chubby, too big for a bikini - or the worst one - dreading having to wear the "mom suit" at the beach. That one hits me on a personal level.... because I'm not a mom, but I cover my body with what these women deem a "mom suit" - they are afraid of looking like me.

ouch.

Talk about a sucker punch to my ego - not that it was their intention, but what I dont think women realize is that if they are in the "normal" weight range on those god-awful BMI charts, they have absolutely nothing to complain about. (fun fact: I am in the morbidly obese range because of my height, yet I am capable of 5K mud runs, swimming and boot camp workouts 4-5 days a week - those BMI charts are bullshit) These women don't see that they are completely normal, beautiful in fact, and that they should rock the hell out of that bikini, and nobody is going to judge them otherwise.

I see this pattern, mainly in the naturally thin women. These women had it easy growing up. They could eat all they wanted and not gain an ounce, while chubby-little-mess Erin had to sit in the corner wishing she could have that ice cream they were eating. I've never been thin, I've been unhealthy trying to be thin, but it's just not in the cards for me, and I get that. But when these bloggers type their woes on their blogs about their struggles with the 15 lbs they can't seem to shed to get back to their High School weight (are you effing kidding me?), I have little pity for them. I have been eating salads my whole adult life to look like these women do AT THEIR HEAVIEST, and they don't see that their insecurities hurt other people. Love your body, please.

I just wish this body image pandemic would be laid to rest. I know it will be an ongoing struggle, with fashion and advertising rubbing skinny 15 year olds in our faces the rest of our lives, but can we at least try? Can we just love our bodies for as long as they answer to us and give us what we ask? Movement, life, the ability to run, swim, hike, surf, play sports.....

Is it too much to ask for that?

look-alike

For a long time now many people have told me I look like Adele.

Family. Friends. Strangers. They all see it.... 

and I sort of do too, with the exception of our chins... and while I am sure it was always meant to be a compliment, I used to find myself not terribly flattered. Don't get me wrong, she's an amazing woman with talent coming out of her ears... it just took me a while to realize that it was indeed a huge compliment. 

Just because she's not a bean pole doesn't mean it's not a compliment.

Anyways, after seeing Rasha's post I finally decided to post these photos so you can see for yourself.

What do you think? Do I really look like her?