Injuries, Running and Thoughts on KT tape...

I've had what I believe is Plantar Fasciitis for about 2 months now. I signed up for my first half marathon a few months back and immediately started planning out my running training. I got myself up to 6 miles (which was still at the beginning stage for me since I had already been running a lot) and somehow strained something in my ankle or arch. I've been stretching it, massaging it and icing it for the past 2 months and taking it very easy on the running. Literally for the last 3 weeks I haven't run at all. I've been doing stair climbing exercises in replacement of my running cardio because just about any running for more than 1.5 miles just aggravates the injury. It's been a very frustrating road and I am losing patience with it... especially since my half marathon is in only 4 weeks, and I still can't run further than 3 miles without pain.
So, that led me to KT tape. I've seen so many fitness bloggers and instagrammers and even people at the Spartan Races wearing this stuff and swearing by it... so I decided to give it a try. Heck, if this stuff could help me cross the finish line at my half marathon I was more than happy to spend the $19 to give it a go....

Here is my first attempt at wrapping for Plantar Faciitis according to their website video tutorial. At least it looks cute in pink....

But, I didn't notice a difference. Not a single difference. In fact, about 2 miles into my run, I even started to feel the tape peeling off... separating from my skin... kind of like when a bandaid gets wet. Once that started to happen all the support the tape was providing went out the window, along with my hopes that this was really the answer to my problem. By mile 3, the pain I usually feel at this distance was very much there in my ankle and I finished my 5K run disappointed. My ankle is still hurting in the SAME place it usually does after about 3 miles... tape or no tape.

Needless to say I am a little disheartened at this point. I don't honestly know how I am going to be able to run 13.1 miles in just 4 short weeks, I may actually end up having to transfer my registration to a friend, since I don't want to end up seriously injuring my ankle just trying to finish. I don't know what to do and it is super frustrating. I will continue to give this tape a try, at least until I go through the first roll. May as well use it right?

Has anyone out there ever experienced an ongoing injury like this? I don't like resting, and not being able to run is driving me crazy. I feel like I've tried everything. :(

honestly, wtf: frustrated.

so it's been a month on this clean eating kick, with reasonable cheat meals, plenty of exercise and lots of water, very little diet soda.

i've gained almost 4 pounds.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cue emotional meltdown.

i know, this may seem a little overly dramatic, but you have to understand - i made a HUGE lifestyle change. i stopped eating bread, chips, fries, pita chips, bagels..... and so on.

i started exercising an extra two days a week.

i am drinking way more water, and almost cut diet soda out completely.

WHAT. AM. I. DOING. WRONG?!?!?!?!?!?

it must be my calorie intake, even if it is mostly protein and leafy greens.

i really don't understand it. and everyone is telling me its MUSCLE.

i call bullshit.

four pounds of muscle????? come on, i haven't changed my workouts THAT much.

this is horse shit, and this is about the time i would normally give up, but i wont. i like the way i feel a lot more than i used to.... even if my ass is fatter. 

i guess maybe i still have hope. maybe i'm hoping i can cut my portions even more than i already have. I can eat more leafy greens without dressing, or at the very least... just a little dressing.

i can snack on bell peppers. i can convince myself they dont taste like dirt. i can do this, maybe.

maybe.

you gain some you lose some...

so this morning just before my shower i decided to dust off the old scale and see how my relationship with gravity was going. i took those two steps with about 60% confidence, 30% uncertainty. that's a pretty "confident" ratio for me... so needless to say i expected good numbers...

but alas, i was wrong. i had actually gained back all 5 lbs i had previously lost. i felt defeated, and went about my shower.

after intense thought {which is what we do in the shower, right?} i decided i hadn't been defeated just yet. i needed more proof. i have been feeling better about my body and my clothes have all been fitting more loosly, so i decided to measure myself as well to just confirm that this was actual gain.

and then something weird happened.

i lost inches.

my legs, my hips, my waist... everything. smaller. just as i had been back when i was 5 lbs lighter.

water weight?

muscle gain?

i'm not sure what it is, but at least that small victory in inches has kept my motivation alive for another week of running.

I feel horrible right now...

I have completely failed myself.
I have gained 10 pounds in the last year, and I am completely ashamed of myself. I know what my problem is, I eat too much. By why? WHY? Why do I feel this constant urge to eat like a starving animal? Whenever I look at my skinny friends who so often skip meals or pass up a plate of french fries, I ask myself, "why am I not like that? Why don't I have this careless relationship with meals? Why can't I stop worrying about food like them?"

I have some major habits to break. I am working on them. But I just worry that this struggle with food is going to be a lifelong issue I won't be able to completely shake. Ignorance is one of my major issues with diets. I ignore the little things I eat that add up to majpr calories at the end of the day... and that is how I got to this weight.

Ignorance is NOT bliss.